Did my c25k run 3 on saturday. It wasn't too bad. I just wish I'd have eaten more before my ru. I'd eaten for breakfast. We went to costa at about 11am and I didn't eat anything until my run which was at about 4pm so it had been about 5hrs. I had no energy on my run. My legs were so wobbly. I managed to push through but it wasn't a good feeling. Im not gonna do that again.

I did my run 4 today. It was much better than it was the other day. I'd eaten on the way home ready for my run so I had the energy. It was crap weather, it was raining and cold yet I didn't make any excuses. I got out there and did it. Breathing and pace was good.

Like I did last week on run 4 I decided to try and do the next longer interval which is 5 minutes next week. So n my last 3 minute run, I ran 2 extra minutes into the cool down to make sure I could do next week.

Well, I did it. I ran the 5 minutes. But it was not easy. The first 3 minutes was fine, my breathing was ok. After that, I started to get breathless. My boyfriend was running behind me to time my last run. Giving me words of encouragement and tips to help me slow my breathing (I love that boy, he's so supportive).

At about 4 and a half minutes, I was wheezing really badly, I could hardly catch my breath and I started to panic. I think part of my breathlessness was due to me talking, I ket asking my boyfriend how long I'd done. Part was that. Got a little too excited that I was actually doing it and part of me was terrified cause I couldn't catch my breath.

My boyfriend counted down from 10seconds until I'd done 5minutes. As soon as I he said I'd done it, I had to stop instantly and try to get my breath back. I was in pure panic. Thought I was gonna pass out. I started crying, partly due to fear, partly relief. I'd done it. I'd ran 5 minutes. It doesn't seem like a lot it that was a big achievement for me. I'm incredibly proud of myself. I didn't think I would be able to do it.

Bring on week 4!

Now... Weigh in, the part which is not so good. I'm still not losing. This s the third week in a row that I have maintained. Everyone is saying atleast I haven't gained, but I'm not seeing it like that. I mean.. I'm gladi haven't gained up at the same time, it's making me depressed. People are saying im getting smaller and don't need t lose much more.

I don't see it like that. Not one bit. I look in the mirror and I still see the same huge fat girl that was there from the start. I have a massive belly that doesn't seem t want to shift. I have huge thunder thighs and a ugly pair of saggy horrible boobs. I'm not happy with my body and i wish it would give me a bloody break and just let me lose something already.

It's about 8 weeks until me and my boyfriend go n holiday to Egypt. I did want t get more tanned this year. I wanted to look better this year. I wanted to wear a bikini this year(I wouldn't look that good in one but decent enough to wear one). That's now not going to happen because when I tried one on, I thought I looked disgusting and really do it want ther people looking at me thinking the same.

I've had a look through my diary recently to see if I could pin point the problem. I think it's my eating. I tki need t eat more. I am currently not netting the 1200 that MFP recommends so this week I am going to try and et more and see whether that helps. I bloody hope it does.

Oh. On a side note. My hatred for 30 day shred is still present. I still dont like it and had to force myself out of bed to it this morning and it was still as hard as before. Although I'm not as sore now. Will just have to stick with it nowive started the damn thing. I wish I hadn't.

I hope everyone else is doing better than I am. Hope the weather is better than where I am and I hope everyone has a good week. Until then x